May 2013
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
i hope one day you find someone who makes flowers grow in even the saddest parts of you
psychoticpingouins:
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
my-name-is-hilarious:
theyahoostaff:
yourfriendthecrow:
I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS
We are not fucking HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING
theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD
fictitiousfake:
J.K Rowling said that her inspiration for Hagrid came from when she was 19 in a pub in the west country and this terrifying looking guy came in with these other biker guys and the only thing he talked to J.K about was how his cabbages were getting on
i wish i could be strong without somebody there.:... →
Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that…
“I can’t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I’m not really living it.”
– Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises (via durianseeds)
“I need to learn how to stop destroying myself, stop being hard on myself and be...”
– Daul Kim (via durianquotes)
neyruto:
maybe we’re all already superheros but our powers are really shitty like the power to tie your shoes really fast or to never burn an omelette
visitingfan:
iguanamouth:
banesboner:
am-pour-me-a-glass:
gingadensetsusmokeweed:
everyone remembers chicken nugger but what about chichen nuggest
nugget
nugger
nuggest
new pokemon evolutionary line
forgive me for i have sinned
OH MY GOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
nerdbirdistheword:
8r8kh34ds:
if i could choose a super power it would be having the power to literally slap sense into people
“HAHAH you’re so fucking pathetic i hope you die”
SLAPS
“wait what im saying could seriously hurt a person and drain their confidence completely and i shouldnt do that to anyone wow”
You are the future I want to see.
“‘Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star,’ I said....”
– Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun (via durianseeds)
laugh-addict:
“you’re too thin”
“you’re too big”
“you should gain weight”
“you should lose weight”
justlikedisney:
loriarty:
wreck-it-rogers:
The fact that Robert Downey Jr. is threatening to leave Marvel unless Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett basically all his Marvel buddies get a pay raise really shows you that he is a great man, a human being, and never thinks of himself above others even if he jokes that he is above everyone else all the time.
Not only that, but he’s also...
If you have ever taken a razor blade to that...
iwillfucknepeta:
pimpeta-slap:
mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:
pimpeta-slap:
Who came up with kissing? Seriously? Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice” *violently bashes head together again* “This should be a thing”
kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
...
